Keket Fukya

“The Nest” – Sons and Daughters

“Steep Air” – Sleater-Kinney

“They Can Wait” – Dani Siciliano
If I’m not playing poker I don’t really like this song. But it takes me off tilt if I mess up.

“Teardrop Butterfly” – Praful
This song reminds me what I am ultimately playing for… a comfy little spy boat with which to make trouble somewhere sexy.

“1940 (Amplive Remix)” – The Submarines

“Highway 90″ – Jane Jensen

“Koyal” – Nitin Sawhney
This song hit me during a break in the middle of an intense 180 person sit and go. I was stretching and pretending to be a ninja. A poker ninja. Yeah. I know.

In case of bad beat:
“The Lost Song” – The Cat Empire
I flopped a boat and went all in. My opponent called with a small unrelated pair… that became four of a kind on the turn and the river.

“Until The Moring” – Thievery Corporation

“Frontier Psychiatrist” – The Avalanches
This has been on my iPod’s “Poker” play list since my first live tournament five years ago. Every time it comes on I wish my life would speed up in some kind of victorious, chip-scooping, shifty-eyed, smirk-filled montage. One day…

Hypercolor is attempting to make a comeback. Go home, Madonna! If I have to see one more teenage boy with some tie dye looking sweat patches up under his hip little armpits, I am going to start the fucking apocalypse myself.

I am almost prepared to believe that this is a clever/terrifying hoax. I mean, seriously? Is that what we’ve devolved into accepting as sexy advertising?

W. T. F.

And getting out of dodge for a day or so.

When I was old enough to Internet without supervision I did two things:
1. Everything I wasn’t supposed to. (At work, and school.)
2. Sub7. (Which let me make everyone else also use the internet inappropriately in inappropriate places. Muahaha.)

There is code among thieves. And sometimes honor too.

The combination of these two things and the book Snow Crash led to a love of ever changing monikers. All interrelated by some intertextual theme inspired by pop culture or a foreign language. And thus I reveled in the anonymity of the internet.

I <3 Hiro.

The Sims didn’t help matters. And then came Everquest, and WoW, KOTOR, and Second Life. All with plenty of fan-fiction porn to ensure warmth on those lonely nights.

Most recently, I was known to some on the internet is Zendulo. That name actually means ‘Rebel’ in Hungarian. I have also been known to some as Sway, Dutch, Shax, MJ, Ginevra, Sinister, Yolanda, Saffron, Bridget, Leia, doomkitten, and many more disgusting fandom-drenched monikers. After all, what’s in a name?

Keket Fukya: [kik • it • fuk • yeah]

A battle cry. A victory dance. A rock n’ roll split kick.
An answer to its own question.

Kick it?

This is Cindy Garner.

What a babe, right? And look at how excited she is to see you. She got all pretty just for you. And look at those eyes. She wants to do stuff to you. In fact, she wants you to do stuff to her. Once a day. Hell, twice a day if you say nice, true things. How did you get so lucky?

Now all you have to do is not be a douchebag.

Here’s a few simple tips to keep a woman who likes to look at you like this:

-Get her off everyday. Convince her, coax her. Women love sex. Everyday. -That’s a lot of sex. Be creative.
-Let her get you off everyday. Take vitamins and stop whackin’ it if need be. Tell her your fantasies. Be respectful but honest.
-Find a way to take time for yourself that doesn’t make it sound like you’re sick of her and she is irrationally clingy for wanting to get it on with you everyday. You don’t have to stay. You can if you want. But if you do, and she has a bad dream and just wants you to grope her a little bit, that’s really all she fucking needs to be happy all day. How fucking cool is that? I mean seriously, what is the problem here? Is it the video games, the midnight snacks, or the excellent blow-jobs?*

*This is exactly why I shouldn’t blog.